I wake up, and the first thing I see through sleep-bleary eyes is the firey sunrise. Joy leaps into my heart at the sight. Yahweh, how glorious you are! Heart echoes His glory.
Then I remember. How God feels so far away and I'm stuck in a rut and I feel like I can't believe that He loves me.
We've all felt it. The hopeless helplessness that overcomes the soul, overcomes truth, overcomes faith. We ask for more of Him, and yet we don't believe He will grant our wish. We slip into the pool of despondency, of settle-for-less-ness, of unbelief.
I scribble in my journal: It all comes down to this: do I believe that He will answer, and I will seek and find Him? Do I believe He forgives my faults and lets me try again? Or do I believe He can't, and won't?
Deep breath. His help comes in a form I wasn't expecting - a member of my family came into my room and looked over my shoulder at my journal. "It's therapeutic," I said, smiling. "It's a good habit to have," he answered in thoughtfulness, "you can remember what God has done in your life."
And then a few moments later, the little brother peeks his round, cheery face through my door. I turn around and say hi, and then go back to my time with Jesus.
Then I realized His answer to me. My little sister makes bible time a priority in the morning at only age seven. Could it be that God uses our habits as an example to our siblings and even our parents?
Maybe this is how being a light works. Maybe all I have to do is be faithful in what He has called me to do, and faith-full in believing Him- that He works all things together for good and nothing can separate me from His love!
It's not a maybe. Its a truth. No matter how weak you are, He can change that weakness into strength. Each of us is a sunrise without light. The clouds without the fire. All the glory and splendor comes from the Light, and when people see it, their hearts cry to the one who made it. We are nothing of ourselves, but with His illumination, we are beautiful.
And that's how he sees us. Beautiful. A reflection of glory. His.
"Therefore return to your God! Hold fast to
love and mercy, to righteousness and justice,
and wait expectantly for your God